Written by Paul Gamlowski
Joe came down with a bad case of the flu. His virtual doctor diagnosed it as an unusual variant. He told Joe to avoid travel and contact with others until supercomputers could predict its mutation rate and pattern.
He kept in virtual contact with his foodie friend Bob. They exchanged recipes over the materialization network.
Joe put his meal in the molecular scanner and sneezed by accident just as the transmission went to Bob. He programmed the biofilters to remove his contaminants, so he didn't worry.
Bob received the assembled meal and ate it, and he contacted Joe.
"Joe, this is the most amazing taste I've ever experienced. What is it? I can't get enough. I want more of it."
"It shouldn't be that incredible, Bob, it's just a pizza."
"I don't know what you did, man, but send me another ... I must have it. I'm shaking, literally. Send me some more."
"Alright, alright. Here it goes ..."—Joe carefully held back his sneeze.
"Oh man, Ewww. What's this? Come on. I've got to have what you made. No joke. Please. Send it again."
They kept doing so over and over, but Bob became desperate.
"You know, Bob. I accidentally sneezed on it. I thought the biofilters would remove it. Let me sneeze on it again."
"Joe, that's gross. But if that's what it takes, go for it, man. I'm getting such a strong craving. I'm sweating, and my heart's racing like mad. I feel so sick like I'm gonna die."
Joe sent the recipe over to Bob with a sneeze.
"Oh, man. That's just too good. It's like a high I've never felt before." Bob sneezed. "Oh, crap. I guess I got your flu now."
Bob tried to sneeze on his own meal, but his symptoms and cravings got worse. Joe kept sending him sneezed-meals, but after a while, they didn't work.
Joe, too, developed craving symptoms despite being 'patient zero.' He required Bob to sneeze and materialize meals. He went through the same vicious cycle.
"Bob, dude, I think we've gained a tolerance for each other. This pain is too severe, and we need more. I'm going to contact our other foodie member April and sneeze on her meal. I hate to do this to her, but we don't have a choice."
Bob agreed, and April too contracted the virus, and the cycle repeated itself.
In time, thousands exchanged recipes to alleviate their symptoms, including a medical professional who unwittingly got exposed to it. And that person infected other staff.
Billions of infected later, the entire human species tried developing synthetic cures and infecting animals. Nothing helped.
Regular food became repulsive without the virus. Everyday life became a torment of addiction.
One night an alien ship landed and offered a unique substance that randomly altered itself on contact. Whenever a person ingested it, it gave relief to the symptoms.
Of course, they made a trade: servitude, or no deal.
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